This has to be the hardest thing I've ever done.
Or at least one of them.
I'm not sure if this is "its-own-thread" worthy, but I'm going to make one anyway, feel free to lock it later, mods, if you so choose.
I know I haven't been on much lately. I've been in and out of the hospital, at least once a week due to all my medical issues. I've been saying that I've been told I have 2 years if I play my cards right.
That's a lie.
The cancer has almost completely taken over my body, and my immune system's practically shot. I have less than two years. Way less. One year, maybe. If I stay super healthy and never ever forget one pill, one treatment, one blink of the eye.
And I'm having way too many surgeries to keep up with. I don't want to just be gone and never be back here again. I love you guys so much, you've all been so supportive of me and what I'm going through, and what I've been through.
You're all basically my life lines.
Especially you, Aine. Your non-stop love, support and kind words have been so much of what's been keeping me from killing myself. No lie. Knowing someone across the world cares about what happens to me and what I'm feeling, and how I'm feeling, and what's going on in my life. I love you, and everything you've done for me. Putting up with my constant bitching and giving me cyber hugs whenever you get the chance...You're one of the only people I've ever met online that I can truly call a friend. Thank you.
But I'm afraid I have to leave. If things start looking up again, I'll come back and post my heart out, but I don't think I'll be able to deal with it if I type out a message like this 3 days before I die, or I don't get to type one at all.
Amy decided she didn't really like it so much on FF; the rules, the not knowing anybody...But I'm going to ask her to log on and tell you all when I'm...not here anymore. Just so you know that I won't be coming back.
I'm really sorry. I wish this would just end and I could go back to chatting with you fine people all the time like I used to. But it won't. And I can't.
But know! I WILL see XF2 the SECOND it premiers here and I will be thinking about every single one of you the whole time. Mulder, Scully, and every single person I've ever known on the XF section of FanForum will forever be in my heart, even if it only beats for another year.
Thank you all so much for being so kind, and gracious, and thoughtful...considerate. There are so many nice words I could use to describe you guys, but I don't have the time, nor energy to do so. So I'll just say thank you again.
With love,
Andy
P.S.: I'm going to be on for a few more days to respond if anyone has any questions or anything else to say. Just letting you know.
P.P.S.: I've previewed this thing like 9 times and it still doesn't feel right. But I hope it conveys the message, and I hope you understand.
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Just posted that on one of my favorite forums.
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The Cuisinart of AVM Are you scared to forgive?
Are you afraid to live? Are you afraid to die?
Do you think it's all a lie to live when you think you're dying?
Subject: What's in your CTRL + V right now???? 
Mon Jul 21, 2008 11:44 pm
I guess you all know where that's from
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