Sharon about grandmothers, temples and Frans Bauer

Busy moments for lead singer Sharon from the symphonic metal band Within Temptation. She and her boys have success all over the world: their latest CD was released in 34 countries.

Who is Sharon?
Name: Sharon den Adel
Date of birth: 12 July 1974
Place of birth: Waddinxveen
Residence: Soest
Studies: Mavo (I think it’s typical Dutch) studied fashion/management
Relationship: with high school lover Robert Westerholt (guitar player Within Temptation). Together they have a daughter Luna (2).
Career: founded Within Temptation in 1996. The success begins in 2001 with ‘Ice Queen’. Europe, Japan, Australia, The United States and South-America follow a few years later. The band sold over 2 million CD’s and DVD’s, and won many awards like TMF- and 3FM- awards.

Wow, it’s really hard to make an appointment for an interview with you.
Sharon: “Yes. I know it took some time, but at a certain moment we found out –the other band members and me- that we toured really a lot. We took a time-out and cancelled everything. Soon we’re going to South-America for three weeks, we really need to take our rest for that.”

How do you notice you need to calm down a bit?
“O, on everything. I have less patience and all the other bandmembers get irritated so much more easily. As well as that, some things happened in our families this time. When we were on tour in America last summer, my grandmother died and it didn’t really go well with one of the parents from some band members. Then you need to take time for yourself and the people at home.”

Was you grandmother special for you?
“Yes. My parents are real ‘expats’; my father had to travel a lot because of his work. When I was eighteen my parents left Holland again, but I stayed here and moved in together with Robert (Sharon’s boyfriend and the band’s guitar player). If there was something wrong, my grandmother took care of me. She was a really interested and active grandmother. I went to her burial, but I couldn’t do or arrange anything, because I was in America. You have the opportunity to wash the dead, before he or she will be buried. It would've really meant a lot to me if I could’ve done that with my mother. Not everybody has the strength to do that, but I’m someone who wants to face things. I think it’s scary, but also a valuable experience, to make someone beautiful before they close the coffin forever.
In many situations I want to be there from the beginning till the end. I’ll go to the bottom now, but if someone I love is dying I want to accompany this person till the end. Only then I have the feeling I’ve done it right.”

Fans ask a lot from you, how do you deal with that?
“Well, it’s hard for me to place limits. That’s something I’m learning now. I always want to be there for the fans. Ok, I’m not Frans Bauer asking my fans for coffee, but after a concert we usually take the time to meet our fans. Though sometimes I think: Not now. If I don’t feel well, or when I have a migraine attack or something; it can be due to all kind of things. Everybody has times they feel very well and times they don’t feel so well.”

Do fans all over the world react the same?
“We were in Croatia recently, and that was complete hysteria. Like with the Beatles, with screaming fans. But most of the time, luckily people don’t recognize me when I walk down the street with my normal clothes on. On stage I look more extravagant of course. I was at a fashion show from Marlies Dekkers recently, and in front of me there were a couple of TMF-veejay’s and Daphne Deckers. They were interviewed by a journalist, and they didn’t recognize me so I was sitting there, feeling great and as anonymous as any other person.”

Can you walk down the street abroad, without a bodyguard?
“Not in Mexico for example. At least not near the venue where we perform. Then we really get threatened by fans. As long as there’s a big man next to me, I’m not scared, haha. But two really relaxed fans showed us the Maya-temples. That was really special. Though we’re known by a very large group of people, not everyone knows us. We are not a mainstream band, and we don’t search for publicity. Although the last few years we got more well known, because of the airplay we got on MTV and TMF.”

You travel a lot around the world. What do you do with all those experiences?
“Sometimes I’m thinking about writing a book about all our experiences. A history about the band, and how we live through all these things. I don’t make notes, it’s all in my head. We are actually a wise group and took some free time to finish our studies. That wouldn't work now, we're too well known. Besides that many people work for us and we are responsible for them. This year we play more in Holland and Europe then last year, with the idea to get some rest and write new songs. Traveling is adventurously, but it also undermines you. First I had a romantic picture about it you know, nice food and shopping in a strange city, but that’s gone. That’s why I prefer our tour bus instead of the plane: at night we get in, have a drink and go to sleep, to wake up the next morning in another country.”

As a child you lived in many different countries. How did that shape you?
“I had a special childhood. Our family lived in Yemen, Surinam and Indonesia. I learnt a lot about other cultures. Regarding that I was a wise child: kids in Holland learn about countries far away in school and I actually saw the slums in Indonesia and the wild animals in Africa. I also changed school constantly, had to adjust to new cultures and I couldn’t built up friendships (which was a pity of course). I remember the anxiety involving the December murders in Surinam (1982). But then there was my sixth birthday which we celebrated on a safari with one candle on a hamburger, because there was no cake. Unforgettable. Also we traveled a lot. My parents were always in search for adventure and took my brother and me with them. When I came back to Holland at the age of ten, I felt older then other kids my age.”

Do you have time for friendships now?
“I have a couple of good friends. I neglected them actually. I realized that last year when we were so busy: you lose people if you don’t give them attention. They understand that you’re busy, but it still disintegrates. Now I’m trying to correct that. If people are special to you, then you have to show that. What I think is a pity of being famous, is that you don’t know if somebody is interested in you, or that you only get the attention because you’re famous. Still that doesn't frustrate me, cause eventually it will become clear. I have the right sensors for that.”

You have a daughter of two, Luna.
“Yes! She sometimes comes with us, together with a nanny. Sometimes she stays at home with her grandparents. Last year I was away from home too much. Luna was little, so it wasn’t a real problem; now it’s already harder for her to let go of me. And I don’t want her to get separation anxiety.”

How easy do you switch your mind, when you have to tour again?
“The week before I leave I’m not in a good mood, cause I hate it to leave Luna. Like last summer when we went to America, that was hard. But when you’re gone, it’s not that hard anymore, cause you know she’s in good hands. Still a child belongs with it’s parents, that’s why Robert (Luna’s father) and me have to divide the following years in a different way.”

I read somewhere that Robert and you have never been a sticky couple.
“That’s true. We never really show that we are a couple. On the one side it’s good for the atmosphere in the band, but on the other hand, we were on tour for a very long time, and we didn’t had much time together. When you notice that, you have to work on that like any other couple. We have to find a middle way, and definitely now that Luna is with us.”

On stage you’re a vamp. But in normal day life....?
“On stage I show another side of me. With a beautiful dress I feel more feminine and I can let myself go easily. Without these clothes I think I would find that more difficult. In normal day life I’m either quiet or very loud. There’s not much between that. I can talk very lively, but sometimes I also think: gray mouse, do something!”

What kind of music do you listen to?
“I used to listen to a lot of grunge music. I still do, but I also like Tori Amos and Kate Bush. I prefer emotional music. I don’t have much with pop music, but recently I took a liking to dance music. It has suddenly become really nice to dance, I never had that before! Suddenly I’m open for all kinds of music. We were already approached by a couple of DJ’s if they could make a remix from our songs, but for the first time I’m open for that. I would like it even more if I could write a dance song myself. Just to widen my horizon. Though I can let myself go in our music as well, cause it’s Celtic, symphonic, metal and rock. Still I sometimes think: why shouldn’t I take a day off and write a dance song?”

Thats deppressing....

Quote :

I don’t have much with pop music, but recently I took a liking to dance music. It has suddenly become really nice to dance, I never had that before! Suddenly I’m open for all kinds of music.

I'm the same way with music recently. That's exciting.

But yeah...the Grandma bit.. That made me want to cry. :-/

Write a dance song? What a brilliant idea Sharon

Poor Sharon, she coped with her grandmother dying really well actually. She is a very strong person!

She's so unbelieveably strong