WT Worship (Ze Sheep!) bow down and be one of the flock

All that's done's forgiven

Jeroen is the first chapter

*is dying*

Oh my, Andy, I loveth it!! It's amazing

hehehe old/new testicle. That had me cracking up
*is still*

Hooray!Whats the next installment?

Dunno yet.. still trying to figure that out.

So...is there going to be a "Revelations" as well!?

I don't know. I'm kind of just playing it by ear. I've never even read the -Christian- bible.

LOL, never mind then! Believe it or not I used to be Christian, or I think I am, but then again, I'm not. But I don't consider myself a Christian because I stopped going to church about 8 years ago, stopped reading the Bible, stopped praying, and stopped doing all that kind of stuff. I do, though, believe there's a "God", but I honestly think it's literally a waste of time AND life to try to figure out what our purpose is on this Earth (according to God), or to "follow" the Bible. I'm just not going to waste my time like that. I think, that personally, believing that there's a "God" up there, is good enough for me. So that's why I don't consider myself a Christian because I believe that will only make me into a hypocrite. I mean, if there is a "God", then why not just show Himself to everyone in this world, once and for all, just to clear everything up and free our doubts. So...I guess my whole point with this is, that I've actually read the Bible before
(Read the first 5 chapters of the Old Testament, skipped the rest of the chapters that followed -because I thought they were boring-, then read the first 3 chapters of the New Testament, then skipped ALL the rest of the chapters except for the last one, Revelations, which is the most interesting one only because it talks about the Apocalypse) So yeah...

Reminds me of writting a parody of hte bible for lemmings *long story* ooh and you forgot teh jedi in you religion comments and holy books think they need a mention being something like hte 7th largest religion in england and us

edit: rob the book of revelations is the best book in the bible *iv read the whole bible 3 or 4 times when iv gone on holiday and fogotten to take a book*

other than that i found it highly ammusing

edit of my edit: dont forget to be a proper holy book to contredicte yourself at least twice per book

IOMS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS GOING TO SAY WE NEED A WT RELIGION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 ANDY YOU BEAT ME TO IT!!!!!!!

I know where we can post this!!!! Because I'm a proud Helenaist, I found this Wiki site that only talks about religion. Helena's has this you need to worship, places you need to go to worship her etc.

http://religion.wikia.com/wiki/Helenaism

here are some things( Everything actually, lol) that Helena's religion has. We can do somewhat the same thing ^-^

Andy you are truly a prophet!

I love the WT bible!I hope for new chapters soon!

Andy that's brilliant!!!

I didn't know Helenaism existed! I shall have a look

Sweet Sorrow wrote:

Reminds me of writting a parody of hte bible for lemmings *long story* ooh and you forgot teh jedi in you religion comments and holy books think they need a mention being something like hte 7th largest religion in england and us

edit: rob the book of revelations is the best book in the bible *iv read the whole bible 3 or 4 times when iv gone on holiday and fogotten to take a book*

other than that i found it highly ammusing

edit of my edit: dont forget to be a proper holy book to contredicte yourself at least twice per book

3-4 times!? Dude, that's insane! It's a loooooooong book. That's impressive. And I agree with you too, the book of Revelations is the best...the scariest, but the most interesting nonetheless.

NeonFishnets wrote:

I think I'm going to post it in installments. So, the first installment will be a letter from yours truly to non-sheep. And I will also post the Sheeply commandments.

Quote :

In the beginning, there was a Word,
and the Word was, "Enter"

-Jeroen, 13:7


---

Dear soon-to-be-Sheep,

If you are reading this, you probably want to know all about the wonderful way of WithinTemptationism. Knowing this, your fellow sheep, in the name of the Heart of Everything, would like to invite you to learn about us.

We would like you to enjoy Mondays as the chosen holy day. And we would like you to dress in Their chosen dress: corsets on the women, buckles and chains on the men.

Before we explain more about this, however, let us tell you simply more about us.

What do we stand for?
-Everything Within Temptation stands for.

What are we against?
-Everything Within Temptation is against.

Pretty great, yes? Of course, it is not that simple, which is why we've created an entire booklet on them. Doesn't every religion have a book? The Jews have the Bible (The Old Testicle), the Christians have the Bible (The New Testicle), the Muslims have the Q-tip or whatever, the Jains have Fun With Dick and Jain, the Sufis have Sufis Up!, the Buddhists have the Bananapada, the Hindus have Ten Little Indians, the Wiccans have The Witches of Eastwick, and so on. If I were simply preaching on a street corner, you, dear sheep, would pass this off as another two-bit religion.

Go ahead, run to YouTube and try them out for size. If you don't like them after thirty days (ha!), go ahead and return them. Your old religion will most likely take you back. Unless it's the Jains, whose feelings are easily hurt.

Adel.

Andromeda Salamie
Guru

And then the commandments.

Quote :

Ten Commandments of Within Temptation

1. Thou shalt not worship false prophets, nor shalt thou worship art thieves of the one true Within Temptation. - Namely Katra and Forever Slave.

2. Thou shalt squeeith over all that is spoken from the mouths of the gods.

3. Thou shalt reference Within Temptation when thoust opportunities arise.

4. There is one set of gods, and they are called Sharon, Robert, Ruud, Jeroen, Martijn, and Stephen.

5. Thou shalt speak thy Dutch language when thou hast any chances.

6. Thou shalt share thy knowledge of thy happenings of thy gods with thoust fellow sheep.

7. Thou must spend thy spare time creating a shrine of Within Temptation.

8. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow sheep's merchandise, for there is no bad merchandise, only naughty sheep.

9. Thou shalt not steal from thy gods by way of Limewire or Full-Album-Download.com.

10. Thou shalt not anger sheep by shaveith.

I love it!
It's perfect.
Adel

NeonFishnets wrote:

I think I'm going to post it in installments. So, the first installment will be a letter from yours truly to non-sheep. And I will also post the Sheeply commandments.

Quote :

In the beginning, there was a Word,
and the Word was, "Enter"

-Jeroen, 13:7


---

Dear soon-to-be-Sheep,

If you are reading this, you probably want to know all about the wonderful way of WithinTemptationism. Knowing this, your fellow sheep, in the name of the Heart of Everything, would like to invite you to learn about us.

We would like you to enjoy Mondays as the chosen holy day. And we would like you to dress in Their chosen dress: corsets on the women, buckles and chains on the men.

Before we explain more about this, however, let us tell you simply more about us.

What do we stand for?
-Everything Within Temptation stands for.

What are we against?
-Everything Within Temptation is against.

Pretty great, yes? Of course, it is not that simple, which is why we've created an entire booklet on them. Doesn't every religion have a book? The Jews have the Bible (The Old Testicle), the Christians have the Bible (The New Testicle), the Muslims have the Q-tip or whatever, the Jains have Fun With Dick and Jain, the Sufis have Sufis Up!, the Buddhists have the Bananapada, the Hindus have Ten Little Indians, the Wiccans have The Witches of Eastwick, and so on. If I were simply preaching on a street corner, you, dear sheep, would pass this off as another two-bit religion.

Go ahead, run to YouTube and try them out for size. If you don't like them after thirty days (ha!), go ahead and return them. Your old religion will most likely take you back. Unless it's the Jains, whose feelings are easily hurt.

Adel.

Andromeda Salamie
Guru

And then the commandments.

Quote :

Ten Commandments of Within Temptation

1. Thou shalt not worship false prophets, nor shalt thou worship art thieves of the one true Within Temptation. - Namely Katra and Forever Slave.

2. Thou shalt squeeith over all that is spoken from the mouths of the gods.

3. Thou shalt reference Within Temptation when thoust opportunities arise.

4. There is one set of gods, and they are called Sharon, Robert, Ruud, Jeroen, Martijn, and Stephen.

5. Thou shalt speak thy Dutch language when thou hast any chances.

6. Thou shalt share thy knowledge of thy happenings of thy gods with thoust fellow sheep.

7. Thou must spend thy spare time creating a shrine of Within Temptation.

8. Thou shalt not covet thy fellow sheep's merchandise, for there is no bad merchandise, only naughty sheep.

9. Thou shalt not steal from thy gods by way of Limewire or Full-Album-Download.com.

10. Thou shalt not anger sheep by shaveith.

it's amazing

Ok. I typed up some more tonight and put it in a PDF file for you guys to download and read kinda like a book. Sorry if it's really messy Towards the End. I'm pretty tired. For example, I just noticed that there's a mix up with the "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts". I was debating between that and the "Please Don'ts" because Sharon would probably say please. So, sorry if you get confused. I'll edit later, but I figured I'd give you guys what I have so far

Click here for Sharonly goodness!

If you can't open PDF files, let me know and I'll upload an MS Word version too

It doen't work for me Can you please put the MS word version? Thanks

Sure. Here ya go:

http://www.4shared.com/file/133785977/b8a61a8d/The_Never-Ending_Story_of_Within_Temptation.html

Andy you are a genious .Prophet or not,may Sharon bless you and give you a long afterlife

Adel.

Thats made my day Andy. It is amazing!!!!! Sharon created the wine and you all gotta thank Jeroen for food and because Jeroen is amazing and clearly the best male god. He shines from his head!

In sheep news, Andy sheep came Thursday ans she is so tiny and cute and soft. And my sheep slippers I need to get pics. On my driving lesson today I drove past a field full of sheep and drove through a little village called Sheepy Magna. Which I've drove through loads of times but keep forgetting to tell you all. I love Sheepy Magna

Read it, highly ammused loved the joke about inconsistancies and continuity errors that just made my day

some ideas or food for thought, this is all my own opinion and based on how i would do it it is not a you must do but my opinions on what might be good ideas and no offence is ment by any comments

1) in places it could be fleshed out, with lessons and messages as well as short stories that teach lessons about how to live,
2) needs a few more inconsitancies ,
3) i enjoyed the Q&A section might do to drop a few more comments in for fun, a band comparision or misconseption springs to mind as a false god.
4) always needs a end of the world as you know it every religion has a book about what happens, this one could be based on WT message of tollenrance to others and what our failing to heed that message could lead to.

um other ideas forming but too ambigious for now, as i said there only my opinions i thinks as it stands its great fun

I'll probably end up doing all of those, actually But like I said, I'm not even close to done with it. I'm just too eager to hide it while I'm writing it--which is why I should never ever become famous

SHEEP MAGNA!

hehe good that your adding to it i enjoyed it just wanted to try and contribute ideas ooh and the fact you cant keep things hidden is good means we can give feedback on what we like and think

anything like that ammuses me and set my odd satirical humour off, like the 60 page story about a satirical squirrel world which paradied our own was much more fun explaining it than reading it but thats a story for another day

NeonFishnets wrote:

Sure. Here ya go:

http://www.4shared.com/file/133785977/b8a61a8d/The_Never-Ending_Story_of_Within_Temptation.html

OMS, that was awesome! Some shit in there was hilarious! Good job Andy, you have so much creativity in that head of your's, that is awesome! Kudos and props! I enjoyed that very much and it made me a devotee!
"We're thy Sheep, and Sharon is thou Shepard"!

Andy you're brilliant!!

Andy it's really good. I seriously have laughed a bit reading it.

OMG andy. You, are, amazing
I love it! <3