The "I gotta get this off my chest" Thread

You've already gotten my thoughts on this twat, Amy. Forget her. She doesn't know what she's missing.

Huggles Amy. I'm so sorry someone did you like that hun. You deserve better and if she wants to be like that you don't need her.

Ok. Everyone who has been wondering where I've been. Well why I've been so absentee. I hope you are sitting down this is a lot to get off my chest so to speak. I've had a lot to deal with lately. I've been really sick the past month or so on and off with random stuff. That is nothing I can't handle I've always been down and out with something. Most of the things that keep me away from my awesome mates is personal issues. A lot of my issue is my mother. I have no relationship with my father. He almost died in a car accident when school first started this semester. I was more upset about how my grandfather was doing than my dad. I have not even called him. He walked out on me when I was nine and has yet to realize that "hey you still have a child in this world you know" ever since. I learned to live without him and I just could not involve myself with his problems. They are his not mine. I haven't been apart of his life in eleven years and he made that perfectly clear. My mother on the other hand...she and I used to be close. We were a pretty good mom and daughter pal...as long as it was just us. But she still inflicted that I had to be perfect scenario into my head. The same her family has always done to everyone in it and believe me they still do. I'm no perfect enough, smart enough, thin enough, good enough for any of them. To mom I am nothing more than a teenage mistake she made and she never lets me forget it. Especially since she had my sister. My adorable and perfect in mother's eyes little sister is four. I love her but she is what mom always wanted and every time I see myself in the mirror I see the child she didn't want. I have become nothing more than the free maid in my house. It doesn't matter if I am bed ridden sick I still have to do the cleaning. Even my sister has called me the cleaning lady. So that is the main reason I haven't been around much lately. My mother has been driving me insane and taking up so much of my time I can hardly get my school work done. I'm working myself sick and frankly I'm sick of being superwoman.

I'm so sorry. I know you and I have been talking about parts of this on IM, and I keep wishing that I could just fly over there and help you. I hope you know that you are as perfect as need be, and anyone who says otherwise can go suck a line.

Thanks, Andy!

I was wondering why you were online less

You're amazing to us Leia. You can only be you and do the best you can do and I hope she realises how much you do and how good you are

I wish i could fly over too and give you a big hug and make sure you get your rest and get you all better.

oh leia..it make me so sad to hear ..no mother should ever say that about their child no matter what!!! i mean u cant blame the child for ur mistake(that if it is??) and even if not its not right the way she is treating u...dont worry hun u should know there is two who r there for u:- one god and second ur wt forum pals so never loose hope in both of us okay love u and take care hun

We're here for you Leia, we still love you!



Okay I'm being shunned. This is the sort of thing I'd expect primary school kids to do. Not people my age. I acted to protect a friend, that's all I did. But somehow people think I was making it all up just to be mean. When what i do is be honest, when people talk about someone, i tell them. When people have a problem with someone, I tell them and try to sort thinsg out. So naturally when Anne is on the verge of cheating on Greg and telling everyone how she doesn't really like him or want to be with him I am going to tell him because he loves her and thinks she's as devoted to him as he is to her. And he's my friend, I would like to know if everyone was talking about me. But apparently I'm only doing it because I want to split them up and get with him. Which is clearly not what I'd do. I just wanted him to be aware of what's going on. But people think I'm just being cruel. And everybody loves Anne, so therefore I'm getting shunned.

Fork Ninja wrote:

A friend really hurt me. It was like she was saying...I only wanted to hang with you cuz I didn't have anyone I liked better. Well that is liek being slapped in the face. Worse yet I hate the person she picked over me. Everyone thinks she is "the funniest" and loves her....to me she is just obnoxious...

Whatever, everyone hurts me. It is probably me, but its not my fault I'm so sensitive, have so many boundaries, can't be fake....

That sucks. I can totaly relate. And its not your fault, people are just stupid!

Thanks to all of you. My boyfriend, wt pals, brother and sisters in my pagan path, and other close friends are what makes life worth living for.

Scar, I'm so sorry for what you are going through at school. *hugs*

I want to make a quick rant about the stupid people that are arrogant. they get mad and hurt when people ignore them, and so on, but they dont see what they're doing with others? People need to open up their eyes. we're all equal, what makes them "better" than us. Seriously, stupid people. AHHH!

* Scar*

You did the right thing telling him really and people should really want to hear the truth. I just hope they understand and stop ignoring you because it is quite childish.

FallenHalos wrote:

I want to make a quick rant about the stupid people that are arrogant. they get mad and hurt when people ignore them, and so on, but they dont see what they're doing with others? People need to open up their eyes. we're all equal, what makes them "better" than us. Seriously, stupid people. AHHH!

I agree with you. I'd love to give people like that a reality check.

LeiaLeFey wrote:

FallenHalos wrote:

I want to make a quick rant about the stupid people that are arrogant. they get mad and hurt when people ignore them, and so on, but they dont see what they're doing with others? People need to open up their eyes. we're all equal, what makes them "better" than us. Seriously, stupid people. AHHH!

I agree with you. I'd love to give people like that a reality check.

Amen.

Okay new rant. Seriously. If you're friends with someone, sometimes you have to sacrifice something. You have to give somethings up for that friendship. But then you cant give all of yourself and then expect someone to do the same.
Why are relationships so complicated? And why do people fall in and out of love like they change sheets?

* FallenHalos*

I wish I knew why they were so complicated. I suppose we'll be asking that all our lives.

In and Out of Love XD Sorry had to.

Relationships are complicated because people are complicated. It's the way we're wired, the way we work. The human mind works in so many various ways and it works different ways for different people. So, someone may think it's perfectly normal to give all of themselves in a relationship; to sacrifice everything to make it work, while the other finds it completely absurd. And then the person that doesn't agree is almost forced to do something they don't want to to satisfy someone. It's just the way we were created. And unfortunately, there isn't much we can do about it.

So true. *sighs*

We will be asking that all our lives, because for every one real relationship, theres 100 others that are doomed.

UGH!!!!!

So, my birthday started off PERFECTLY

I woke up at 9:00 AM, in a GREAT mood, 'cause I actually got some sleep. And I woke up to, like, 4 "Happy birthday!"s. And it was extra awesome because I logged onto the WT forum immediately after I got home from Katie's house, and I was so happy to see everything and I decided that this was going to be the best birthday I'd had thus far.

Then Katie and I decorated my new room some more with stars and started hanging my Within Temptation pictures.

And then noon came. And it all went downhill.

Chara wanted to come visit me and say happy birthday and all that jazz. So she knocked on the door, I opened it and gave her this big ass hug and told her to come in, but of course Dave came over and told her that if she set one foot in this house, she'd regret it. So she gave me her gift and a weak smile and she left.

I was so FUCKING pissed, but I decided not to say anything, 'cause I didn't want anything to bring me down.

About an hour later, I called over to my best friend's sister's house, to talk to the boy who is practically my nephew...and she started screaming at me. Not that I really expected anything different. And this is a whole other story that I'm just gonna cut to real quick--

So, my friend's sister, Lyndsay (20) and her boyfriend Timmy (23) have a three year old son. And he is one of the cutest children I've ever seen. But the thing is, Lyndsay and Timmy are CONSTANTLY plastered. Smashed. Drunk off their asses. And it was getting to the point where the only things they would buy were vodka, and poptarts (for Mason). The boy was LIVING ON POPTARTS. And there have been times where Lyndsay and Timmy have gotten violent and started hitting each other 'cause the other one supposedly took the last shot. So I finally had to call social services. They wouldn't agree to do anything else...And they found out it was me who called. And now I'm never allowed to see or talk to that little boy again...and I can't stop listening to Frozen.

----Anyway. So I hung up, and managed not to cry.

A couple hours later we went to this awesome Italian buffet, Cinzzetti's. And it was amazing until they came up and asked what my name was so they could sing to me properly. And when I said, "Andy", Dave just HAD to cut in and say "Her name's Andromeda. Andy's a boy's name." Which REALLY pissed me off, but I went with it, and when the woman went away, I asked him what his big deal was and he went off on me, and I once again had to hold back tears.

We went to an improv comedy club after that, which cheered me up A LOT. I even got pulled onto the stage.

But after that, Dave just HAD to fucking bring it up again. And he and I got into a serious fight that almost came to blows right there at the Promenade. Over the DUMBEST thing. He didn't seem to understand that most sane people don't want to say "Andromeda" every single time they talk to me.

When we got home, Dave went back out and got drunk, and drove home. And when he got back, he actually came INTO MY ROOM without knocking or anything, and it did get physical. And now here I am, sitting here with a black eye and numerous other cuts and bruises...

I just don't understand why it is IMPOSSIBLE for me to have ONE good birthday in my entire life. I couldn't enjoy last year's 'cause Arcturus wasn't there. And I couldn't enjoy almost any years before because some really shitty things happened those nights too. I just want to cry. And I feel terrible 'cause no one should cry on Jeroen's birthday...

Oh God. I am so sorry Andy. I hate that those things happened to you, you don't deserve it. You are an incredible person, you do things daily that I couldn't do, you have no idea of how much I really respect you. Nothing makes me sicker, I mean physically ill, than a grow man that can go after a teenage girl or his wife. There is nothing more cowardly or low. *hugs you* I pray that he breaks his fucking neck. And as far as the other situation goes, you did the right thing. I don't give a flying fuck how any other human being sees it. You tried to protect someone who can't protect themself. *hugs again*

* Andy*

I agree with Kayleigh nothing makes me sicker than a man hitting a girl or a woman. I wish I could get you out of there and get our asses to Holland surrounded by WT. We'll just have to make sure you do get a good birthday I have a year to plan right. Well I want everyday to be good for you really. I wish I could find the words to make things better I really do.

You did the right thing though with calling social services and they will realise that one day.

You're so caring and amazing and you dont deserve any of that.

I wish I could take you in and just be your big sister. At least then you would be living in a home with someone who cares for you.

Thank you...words can make really good band-aids sometimes

*luffs j00 all over*

I kind of just need to put this somewhere because I cant deal with it now with everything else in my head.Last night I had the most horrific nightmare, possibly the worst I've had. Over 2 years ago now a good friend of mine committed suicide and I dreamt last night that somehow he had committed suicide in my house in this wierd room which looked nothing like my house. I found him and his face was all burned and horrible and there was this wierd plasic sheet all over him, it was just horrible. The image of his face wont go away. Thats about the worst bit and then I called the ambulance and they took forever getting here and couldnt find the house and it was just so distressing. Then I was arranging all the funeral for some reason.

Problem is every time I have nightmares I have re-occurring nightmares, sometimes for weeks so I really cant sleep tonight. I'm just stressed right now and it's brought back all the grief of 2 of my friends death and I have the anniversary of my brothers death next month, I just dont know how to deal with this.

It doesnt seem much when typing this tbh but I'm just lost in myself.

I just lost the epic post I had due to this stupid wireless internetin the library....

*huggles Kellie very tightly*

I know how devasting nightmares can be, but you have to fight the hauntingness with something positive like WT. Even if you want to be in our own little WT world while you try and get your thoughts back together so you can deal, know you are not alone. We are here for you and care tons<3 It's hard to feel when you are so surrounded by sorrow, fear and stress so just cling to WT -or whatever- and don't think. There are times when I'm convinced WT is the only good thing in the world or at least in my world at the time

Last night after being very anvious and stressed, I went to bed with Pale on repeat. A few times I woke up to the bridge...wonderful experience<3

Thanks Amy I will just have to surround myself if WT and our WT family

I might try that I love Pale.

Frozen works well for me too. Right now I've had it on repeat for a good 20 mins.