The "I gotta get this off my chest" Thread

You can certainly watch. And if you could pay for the plane ticket to Minnesota too that would be wonderful. Oh and bring a baseball bat.

I can definitely do all three.

Aluminum or wooden?

A nerf one. Dipped in water and frozen for six weeks.

Dear 2009!

We had some fun now didn’t we? I saw Tarja in concert!!! MY ADORABLE FINN IS REAL<3. And that probably shouldn’t be the first thing on my list of great things that happened in 2009, but oh well, it is…Let’s see…Oh I also changed my major to Creative Writing. That was a BRAVE decision. Actually that was a great choice for me. While I started out an ideal dreamer, I think I understand the reality of that dream a lot more now. I wrote a good story this year, I think, -Crownless- but this last semester I wrote some stories that didn’t work as well or were damn obsessive on certain images or themes. But like I said at the end of freshman year, I will be a writer! Oh my other college-related decision was to double major with psychology, which is going to a lot more work, but something I know in my heart I want to do because I have another dream besides being a famous writer…and that dream is of course…TO SAVE THE WORLD!!! Actually that is my dream. You know I’m going to find a way to really inspire people with writing and psychology. Because the dream I mentioned above was inspiring people, empowering them to awaken and fight for a better future. Also I really want to fight back against depression and hopelessness- two forces I know TOO well. So I’m happy with my choices for majors even if it is a lot of work!

Oh I can’t forget to give myself credit for overcoming a HUGE fear of mine. As all my friends know, I used to be TERRIFIED TO FLY, but guess what? I flew to New York to attend FeelGood’s Hunger Summit and it was an AMAZING<3 experience…truly inspiring. Thanks!

Then there was the TARJA CONCERT (which you know had to get its own paragraph). I SAW TARJA<3 THE AWESOMEST NON-SHARON SINGER!!!! AND SHE SANG NEMO<3 SEEING NEMO LIVE WAS MY DREAM FOR SOOOOO LONG AND IT CAME TRUE THANKS TO TARJA. Okay that wasn’t really a paragraph, but a sentence…IN CAPS LOCK<3

Next is a shout-out to the month of April, which is now my OFFICAL FAVORITE MONTH. “The world awakes and sees the dawning of a new day” Sure I had to swim through all the melted water and I almost drowned many a times, but world is such a beautiful place then. OMG THE FIELD WHERE CLAIRE AND I FROLIC<3 And the trees we climbed and the grass I stained my pants with while trying to jump over my shoe after spinning for a few minutes!!! I love those times and I can’t wait for more Aprilness! I love flying kites and climbing tress and running around in circles and just lying around staring at the blue sky next to the green of the new leaves! Oh and I did get to fly a kite…OUT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR WHILE DRIVING TOO!!! IT WORKS IF YOU DON’T DRIVE TOO FAST. Dollar Store kites suck though…you gotta go with one of those wide triangle ones and have more string then it comes with if you want it to really soar. And those swings at the park….I loved summer because I had NOTHING better to do then sit on the swings at the park by my house and ponder the meaning of life at midnight. I learned a lot those nights and from April too though…

Which brings me to the next order of business..all the lessons I learned this year, which we are going to sum up with SONGS LYRICS<3 expect I’m going to RANT about Utopia and April Rain in their own paragraphs too…BECAUSE THEY WERE THAT LIFE-CHANGING.

Actually I’m rant about APRIL RAIN right here: OMG DELAIN IS MY NEW SECOND FAVORITE BAND. NO JOKE. I SPENT MY ENTIRE SPRING BREAK LISTENING TO APRIL RAIN AND HELL, WAS IT AMAZING. AND I DON’T JUST LOVE THESE PEOPLE BECAUSE CHARLOTTE IS ADORABLE WITH HER RED-ISH HAIR AND FRECKLES (but she is…) I’m laying off the caps now because they are diminishing WHAT NEEDS TO BE CAPS…where was I…Oh yes…DELAIN<3 At first I was like WITHIN TEMPTATION WANNA-BES!!! But then I decided that I loved Delain…mostly due to that April Rain music video where Charlotte embraces the part of herself that faces the storm because I have had that fantasy so many times and embracing myself is what I really do need to do, but…really I had something of a pessimistic view on things that were going on in my life last March/ April and April changed my ENTIRE PERSPECTIVE. THANKS.

Those lyrics up there. ENOUGH SAID.



But really Delain helped me a lot with ALL their songs…not just the ones on April Rain and I certainly hope I get to see Charlotte live one day<3 …soon…



Then there was “I’ll Reach You”



“Would you recognize me

If you walked beside me?”



That is directed at HER. Who I have spoken of many times this year and thought so much about and who would NOT recognize me if she walked beside me. See I thought see knew me better than anyone else and maybe there was a time she did, but I never prepared myself for the truth that that relationship would change. I trusted her more than anything/ one and I guess, she betrayed that. Betrayed me. I could go on forever about how much she changed me in highschool, but that is all in the past now. I’m a COMPLETELY different person now. Yeah, I’m the same in many ways like one thing about me is that I NEVER LEARN. Lmao. Poor me…But I have learned…not really…but HELL, IT’S GOOD FUN. What’s good fun? I don’t know…

What really hurt was losing my best friend. That is a terrible reality that hurt more than any joke can ever describe and I don’t even know if she felt the same way. I cried so many times, so many nights while she failed to appreciate all I did for her. That I would have done anything for her. But in the end I think she chose to run away from everything we were because it was the easier and less pain thing to do. I could be wrong. I need to justify. But she did lie to me and didn’t respect what we had.



12 MINUTES TO MIDNIGHT. CLAIRE CALLED AND SAID THE SKY IS ORANGE IN THE NEW YEAR AND IT IS A GLORIUS PLACE<3



Yeah. Interrupted that saddening rant, which should be interrupted since it is about something sad. Point of the matter being…A certain person named Alex changed my life but the “Tides of Time” sent of us drifting in different directions and I had to come to accept that fact. And I have other friend who do appreciate me.



And for the record, Alex, your choices did cause me to kill a part of myself. But it was a good thing. That part of me that thought I wasn’t whole myself, that I needed someone else’s approval needed to face reality. That I can walk alone. WHOA REMINDS ME OF NIGHTWISH. AND TARJA. WHOA<3 I love comparing everything to Tarja…and Nw. And I’ve spent much times since I realized this dreaming of you, feeling bad because you didn’t care nearly as much as I and most of all wanting to tell you off. To tell you that I am an amazing person and you were lucky to have me care so much about you and that yeah, now I see reality. I still hold our fantasies dear, but I’m a lot more than Shion.



WHOA, ALMOST NEW YEARS. Gotta go play Utopia. YIP. Rang in the New Year the same way as last time (except I wasn’t tipsy this time) WITH WITHIN TEMPTATION<3 SHARON. MY HERO. Then ate some cinnamon toast crunch…and I’m not even at school…wow.



*waves at 2009* Once again I digressed…what else do I have to say to 2009…?



Oh yes…the. Utopia. Rant.



OMG. BEST. SONG. EVER. I SMILED SO MUCH WHEN I FIRST HEARD THAT SONG AND HAD IT ON REPEAT FOR A WHOLE WEEK. NO JOKE. THAT IS HOW AMAZING IT IS.



“The burning desire to live and roam free…It shines in the dark and grows within me”



That lyric IS me. This song represents my life, my dreams. I couldn’t have said it better myself. Thanks Sharon. Once again you found away to help me. OH AND I DEFINITELY KNOW WHY IT RAINS DOWN ON UTOPIA. BECAUSE WITHOUT RAIN THERE WOULD BE NO FLOWERS!!!1 Omg, that connects back to April (as in April flowers bring May showers…or the other way around…) Isn’t the world a glorious place? But for real, imagine a world without rainstorms…there would be no cycles, no floods to swim free from. I wouldn’t be as strong without the struggles without the pain. Wow, I just must love water…and April<3 AND SHARON<3

UTOPIA IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONGS. Which is saying a lot considering it is up what against such other WT songs such as STAND MY GROUND, PALE AND…FROZEN…OH MY DEAR, DEAR FROZEN…WHO SAVED MY LIFE. Oh and Pale…where would I be without Pale…Pale’s my pal!!!!! Okay. Done. *whistles*



OH AND I’M REMEMBERING MORE GREAT THINGS FROM 2009. LIKE ARCHES NATIONAL PARK WITH IT’S SHEEP CROSSING SIGNS AND DELICATE ARCH<3 THE MOST BEUATIFUL AND AMAZINGLY UNREAL PLACE IN EXISTENCE. I SWEAR I ADORE DELICATE ARCH. THAT THING IS AMAZING. I hope I’m not ranting more about delicate arch then utopia. I WANT TO STAY THERE FOREVER AND MARVEL AT THE AWESOMENESS. I WANT TO PROTECT THAT PLACE BECAUSE I AM LIKE THAT ARCH. STANDING UP STRONG AGAINST ALL ODDS. I wanted to clean all the garbage from the canyon surrounding the arch but I didn’t have enough hands…My silly mum and the water bottle that I had to chase into a little hole in the ground…BUT I LOVED DOING THAT. I LOVED HIKING TO SEE ARCHES<3 I FELT ALIVE. Whoa.



Then there was the main reason for that trip. My dear Andy (you’re dear just like Frozen…that’s a compliment ^_^) You aren’t kewl until your drive 1000 miles to meet someone you met online. PERIOD. PILGRIMAGE TO MEET THE WT GURU. Really I valued that a whole bunch…more than caps lock can describe. Just love and understanding and hope and dreams and laughter and MORE LOVE AND SHARON<3



Other great things of 2009: The yellow ipod, Mr. Kiwi, Mr. Sheep, the xbox360 that won’t work with my crappy television, college, being awesome…etc. WALRUS. I JUST LOVE ANIMALS<3 MOSTLY BIRDS<3 PENGUINS, KIWI, TERRADACTYLS<3 LET’S FLY MY FEATHER FRIENDS, FLY TO UTOPIA<3 AND FINLAND<3



I could rant forever about how much I loved 2009. But you know something…I used to have this notion that ODD YEARS WERE NATURALLY GOOD AND EVEN YEARS WERE BAD. I’m still scared. 2007 and 2009 ROCKED. But 2006 and 2008 SUCKED (well the second half of 2008 didn’t…) AND WHAT DOES THAT TELL YOU?



I need to believe there is no curse. “Create your own fate…” OR…DUN DUN DUN…QUOTING MY NEWEST MUSICAL LOVE (who I originally called a musical seizure…)



“Don't forget you're able to
Design your own universe”



Or…



“There is hope along the way
And there a new age dawns”



Why are Dutch people so great at writing inspiring songs?



What else?



Oi. Didn’t even start on the LOVE for my friends…who helped me through the difficulties that stupid first semester of sophomore year created…like spilling water on my foot, being sick way too much, going insane on numerous occasions –not really-, statistics and just everything. REALLY. I LOVE YOU GUYS. AND I’M SURE YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. The people I torment with my relentless sarcasm and love of ‘making up stories’ (not lying). I thought about making my NYR not being such a smart-ass but then I remembered I wouldn’t have anything to say…Then there’s those people in other parts of the world too…lmao. LOVE *squee* ^_^



Seriously, 2009 was a good year, but also a harsh lesson. Like I’ve told people, I do think differently now…after seeing the truth behind my dreams, after she betrayed me, knowing myself better. Am I strong? Am I insane? Am I angry? Or driven?



All I know is that I have many battles to face-to fight for my dreams…And along the way…well I don’t even know anymore. I used to think I could predict the future, but no…it throws so much at me and I am only left to respond.



Luckily, I have some great friends on my side and some great musical obsessions<3



Finally my New Years Resolutions…Okay I wasn’t going to make any since now I do have the mentality that I just need to face the future with a positive attitude and keep working toward my dreams…but what the hell!



1. Not to torture myself so much. That includes torturing myself for eating. Really. I need to take better care of myself. I’m sure I’d be happy and do better at everything if I didn’t push myself over the edge way too often.



2. Face the world head on. Yeah. Bring it world. I’ll survive! (no really, please don’t bring it. I want peace<3)



3. Embrace- not murder- the ghosts that haunt me. *goes to watch AR’s music video*



Speaking of embracing…I want to know what happened to “The Embrace That Smothers 1-3” SERIOUSLY EPICA! ANSWER ME.



Going to stop for now since my head hurts a lot. Damn you blood sugar. I should petition for a body without lots of medical problems. WALRUS.



Favorite song of 2009: Utopia and April Rain (OMG. BIG SURPRISE THERE)



Favorite cd: April Rain and Design Your Universe (Utopia was my favorite single<3) And AANATT doesn’t count as a cd here, but it was just rereleases…*JUSTIFIES*



HAPPY NEW YEAR<3 TO THE FUTURE *makes toast*

Well that took a while to read but it is very inspiring and I think you have a good outlook on the future and the things in your past. I know 2010 is going to be an amazing year for you- even if it is an even number. You will be a famous and sucessful writer and you will be able to help people. So anytime you are upset or doubting yourself I can just send this to you because everything you have written is right and postive and determined. I'm happy you have such a good view on things now

April Rain and Tarja <3333

Amy...
That.was.fuckin.AWESOME!
I'm very glad and happy you were able to "discover" yourself some more and view the world in a whole new different way. it's all about experience , overcoming, and standing your ground, and meeting your goals, and accomplishing them. Glad Within Temptation, Delain, your friends, and other people were able to help you through, but also realize that you were able to help yourself too. You found the strength needed to overcome some of the obstacles that presented themselves on you. I'm very happy and proud of you. Keep it up, take care, good luck to you on everything, HUGS!

ok well i never told anyone this because im too fucking scared (i might cuss alot)

ever since i waas really little i always admierd goth people i love the clothes and music and everything and now i really ador all of it more then ever and i will be online and redy to buy some combat boots or fishnets but i am too scared of what people will think of me cause the closest i ever came to tlling someone whoo i really am is my friend andrea i told her about WT Epica Death Stars and tons of my other favorite bands and she started laughing and saying hahahahaha i know april fools isnt till tomarow (it really was the next day) but this is the best joke ever you almost ha me scared really thinking you might be emo hahahahahaha
and so i never told anyone or even tried to be the person i want to be because in my town no one even knows what goth is and would think i had fallen into a depression or something if i started dressing like a goth

and everyone who knows me would tell you i wasnt scared by shit! except the fact that i am too scared of me to even tell m friends who i am and what i like

i mean they all think my favorite singer is lady gaga or lil wayn and i shop at places like forever 21 and pacsun and i have grown up my whole life in this little town as miss preppy in pink even though since i was 4 i have wanted to be a gothic girl

and now i am always so stressed that io may even be cliniquly diagnosed to being unorderly stressed (what ever that means) mostly becaause i have always paid too much atention to what people think of me and i have had this kept up inside of me for 9 years now and dont know what to do!

my family know the music i listen too and call me a little freak or scary or weird and i already pay atention to what people say of me but hearing it from my own family is so hurtful that i am totally lost to what to do and what to think

it seems like the only time i can be me is when im online on sites like this

ps i didnt actually swear that much and i cant belive i actually cried while writing this i feel like a dope

Hey it's ok. Don't you fuckin stress like that; it's not worth it. I'd tell you to just be who you want to be. Don't try to satisfy Other people, try to do things for yourself and whatever makes YOU happy and comfortable. Like 99.9% think my favorite band is System Of A Down, cause I'm always talking about them and I fuckin love them. And I do. I fuckin do. But when I tell them they're actually not my favorite, and that it's Within Temptation, they're like WHO!? O_o
Then I explain it to them, and then they're like "Oh! Oh, but ok, yeah, they're cool, they're cool I bet" and I'm like "DUMBASS!" And clothing, I love shit with fuckin skulls and cool-ass designs, and my favorite colors are black, red, green, and white. And that's the shit I fuckin like, and I have no problem showing it. I don't give a fuck what people think about me or the way I dress, talk, act, whatever. This is the thing, don't listen to people. If you love black so much and you want to be gothic, then fuck it! MORE power to you then! So yeah, satisfy yourself, not other people. And this is just small shit, but if your going to base everything upon what people might say or think about you, then you won't get far in life, in the sense that you'll never be happy, you'll never be satisfied, you'll be manipulated easily by other people around you, you're going to stress yourself out like that, and then that'll lead to fuckin depression, fear, agony, and total insecurity and no self-respect! DON'T LET THAT SHIT HAPPEN! Take total control on your life. Fuck what other people say or think! Those "other" people need to STFU, and mind their own fuckin business because the reality is, that they're the ones probably insecure about themselves, so yeah fuck them. So yeah, do your own thing, but not for others, but for yourself. And don't you cry, and don't you fuckin stress out like that. It's not fuckin worth it. Be strong, be more confident, and be proud of what you are and who you are.

Hey, honey, it's okay. Because regardless of what anyone says about you or what kind of music or clothing you like, YOU ARE A WONDERFUL PERSON. Your value as a person is not tied to your interests. At all period. "Goth" is as legit as "preppy." You should embrace who you are...slowly though. If you try to force yourself to change into who you want too quickly, you might just confuse yourself more so maybe add one or two articles of clothing first then some more the nest week until you are happy with who you are.

But keep in mind clothing doens't really represent who you are. Your dreams and your relationships and your passions and your kindness toward the world and other people determine that. Really dressing a certain way or liking a different genre of music doesn't make you differe than anyone else. It might seem like it does at times because society likes to label- labeling is a lot easier than understanding an indiviual who isn't like you...or society puts down people who aren't like the mainstream alot because what we don't understand scares us and we don't want that threatening our happy boring well-understood lives. But really because someone dresses in black is no different than one who dresses any other way because how they dress.

Now if you are worried about becoming depressed based off what music you like or how you dress, you tend to run the risk of creating an issue where none exists. If you don't embrace who you really are, you run a higher risk of hating yourself for being a fake or a coward. It isn't easy to accept yourself and it might hurt but at least you are being honest and you can build up from there. Another thing that can really hurt is that some people don't accept who we really are, sometimes were were friends with them. I'm not saying you know any of these people but yeah it does hurt being judged. Try to explain to people why you like what you do and what means to you and why it hurts that tehy don't accept it. It might take time but we all have to try to understand each other...

Also I always tell my mother that she should be lucky i like such muscial materspieces as WT and Epica...like those bands are brillant as opposed to bands that rely on putting others down and nudity.

^^^
hahaha thank you (i think you covered all the cussing i ment to do and more)

^^
and thanks i have tried explaining such thigs about music to my mom she sorrta understands but not quite anyways thank you for all your advise

Ok. So most of you know my dad's recovering from an illness which has almost taken over his life. Well, he's getting stronger and his treatments working. I'm really proud of him
However, I have to do everything around the fucking house! Cook, clean, iron, washing and dry the clothes. You name it. As soon as I make one room lovely and clean and move on to do the next it's a complete mess again. I spent 3 hours yesterday tidying the bedrooms. Sweeping, hoovering, dusting, changing the bedsheets. Everything was flawless yet my dad came in and said the bed wasn't straight and that there was a speck of dust on the unit. He then made me do everything again. If it's not right why don't he do it him fucking self?!? I've taken on the role of a single parent of two kids with behaviour problems and a carer for an ill man in the past 7 months. Nothing I do is every right. My brother and sister don't help me and they are 11 and 12 years of age. The make things harder for me and they are always out, playing the consoles or causing more fucking messing.
Yesterday I spent 3 hours making dinner. A nice mixed pasta bolognese with all the salad sides and making it perfectly laid out. Yet all I get is moaning "There's not enough cocktail sausages", "The pasta isn't salty enough", "Eww, there's a mushroom". If they are that bothered they should fucking cook for themselves! They don't do anything and they are always complaining that everything I do isn't good enough. I just want to scream.
I try and do everthng to please them and all I get it grief back. My dad sticks up for them too and not me. It's like I'm the enemy in this house. I feel so alone and isolated. No one cares anymore. They wonder why I'm depressed!

I know how you feel Tay. My dad just got a diagnosis for his illness. Good luck to yours and I'm glad his treatments working.

I know how you feel about the cleaning too. I cannot tell you how many times I've been off school and been woken up at six anyway to iron a pair of fucking pants. Took every ounce of my strength to not to chuck the iron at his head. When he's not feeling well I have to text his boss for him. It really sucks, I know. But it tends to get better if you say "No", especially with the 12 year old brother bit. He gets pissy but he will go get it himself if I tell his ass tooo. Haha.

I'm here if you even need to talk about it, love.

Thanks you so much Kay! I really appreciate it

Oh Tay. I'm glad your father is getting better.
But that's so unfair with all the household chores. I don't have exactly the same situation as you or Kay but I now the feeling when no one appreciates the work you do around the house. Maybe you should leave it all for day or two so they will see how much you do, how important it is and they will start to appreciate it and actually will help you. I would totally help you if only I could! Still, you know I am always here for you too if you wanna talk.

Oh sis I just wish I could come help you out. You do such a great job doing all this work but it is not fair on you at all. I hope your brother and sister start to realise what is going on and how much you do. You dont deserve to be in this situation. You know I'm always here for you

Tayla, I know it must be hard for you right now and it's making you depressed, but try not to be down like that. depression is a scary thing and it sucks when your down like that. If they're being ungrateful for everything you do for them, then at least know we're here for you when you're down. Like you've heard already, everybody here and I, would gladly be here for you if you need to talk or need a shoulder to lean on. We'll comfort you and all.
I don't know, i guess it all depends on how your dad is or reacts, but if I were you, I'd be going "fuck it" to everything. I'd do my chores and stuff, but I wouldn't be doing EVERYTHING for my dad. And for your brother and sister or whatever, don't do any of their shit whatsoever. They can do it themselves. And if they complain about dinner or not having this or that, then tell them to suck it up, quit complaining, and if they don't like it, then they can do it themselves. They better stop treating you like their fuckin slave, cause that's bullshit, especially when they're being very ungrateful. That's fuckin bullshit. So just be a bit, rebellious. Don't say yes to everything, and don't do everything for them. I'm just sorry about the situation you're in and I wish I could do something about it. Tey not to stress too much, ok? You try to relax and have some fun, even if they get pissed at you, fuck them. You need your own time too.

Thankyou all so much. All your words really touch me. I love you all so much I don;t think I could live without any of you Thankyou so very, very much.

So, ugh the future, the thing I hate thinking about the most. But if I want to go to Uni I have to apply by the 15th. I cant even bring myself to look at another pile of prospectus' because I know I wont find anything I want to do. I have no idea what I want to do or be in my life and I dont think I should be expected to at 18. I never ever ever wanted to go to Uni until like a year ago when I realised it's probably the only way out of Tamworth. So it's a pretty new concept for me. So I'm thinking maybe I should leave it for another year until I can decide what I want to do with my life.

But then I think well what am I going to do for the year. Get a job? there are NO jobs in Tamworth, whatsoever unless you are qualified to be a manger of somewhere. So then I'd be on the dole- which is Job Seekers Allowance and £50 a week. Once my moms taken rent out of that I'm left with like £30, then I need about £8 a week for the bus pass, so it's not a lot of money left. But it'd be a hell of a lot more than I get now. I'm constantly spending money on art things, money I dont have, money that is my savings, which since September has gone down from like £1500 to about £700. Ok thats not all on school stuff but the majority really is. And then I think in the year I'll take a night course or something- a course on something more useful in life than Art and Design. Like why the fuck am I on an art and design course I've never been artistic, why the fuck did they let me in. Though in 2 weeks I could quite possibly get kicked off the course. And my only reason to stay on it is so that I can go abroad and see Andy . I mean I really fucking hate this course, it's shit. The college is shit, all the teachers are shit, all their equipment is shit.

I guess my only reason I'm telling my self I will apply in a week is so that my parents think I'm trying to do something. But I think I need to have a chat with them tomorrow and explain all this to them. I dont want to go on a course for the sake of it and waste thousands of pounds to quit after a year and hate it. It'd be easier if I could get a job but I mean really there is no jobs. I know though that if I go to Uni this year it will be a big mistake. I dont know what I want to do in life yet, I need to find that first.

I really just need to start entering the lottery, then I'm sorted for life I dunno, I just still haven't got my head around Uni I guess because I never wanted to go. Only my uncles went in our family and well didn't really help them so much and that was like what 20 years ago, maybe more. It's not really an expected thing I dont think to go to Uni, it's a really strange concept for me. I dont really want to be on the dole either and I dont really want to be in Tamworth but I dont know where else I want to be in this shitty country. I just think it's a bit much to expect of me to decide at 18. Ugh. I fucking hate the future. I need another year of free education I'll have a look at the prospectus' tomorrow but I know I wont find anything. I dont even know if I want to half heartedly apply for anything because then I have to go for an interview, just for the sake of it. Ugh. Fucking hell why wont a nice Finnish man or Dutch woman come and marry me.



I just needed to get this out

*huggle* I know you've been really stressed out about this <3 And I honestly think the best idea for you would be to wait a year. I REALLY do. And spend some time thinking about who you are and what you want to do. So you're on the dole for a while? At least it's something, and if you keep looking for jobs, I KNOW you'll find one. I have a few friends that are having a lot of trouble with that. But now at least you can drive and you don't have to walk or take the bus every single place.

I mean, I don't know if it's become like this anywhere else, but over here it's gotten to the point where you HAVE to know what you want to do when you're like 13 or 14, and you HAVE to know to work toward it because colleges and universities are accepting less and less people and it's ridiculous. My mom's turning fifty next month and she STILL doesn't know what she wants to do

It's honestly too much pressure for anyone. Just please don't stress yourself out too much about it, Kellie. <3 You know we got yer back.

*huggles* Thanks Andy. You've really helped, it means a lot. I dunno really if it has changed now for kids, I dont think Karl's really thinking about Uni yet. He doesn't know where he's going in September yet I guess we just have a different system. I dunno, the schools are helping kids more and more and making them think about it more but I never even thought about it until we had this talk in sixth form. I just dont think it's worth me wasting £3000 on a course and then thousands more on living.

The postman threatened to kill me if I dont go because I ordered so many prospectus' I dont know how they expect 13 year olds to know what they want to do. Like you've only been in high school for 2 or 3 years then and you haven't even taken your options for GCSE. Same with my mom she still doesn't know and my dad just kind of became a financial adviser rather than wanting to be one. I just wish I could stop time for a bit.

Eh! I'm 14. Stop acting like it's like completely unheard of for someone my age to know what they want to do. Age is just a number. Seriously. *twitch*

A N Y W A Y

I don't know what to tell you. I could come from like fifty different points and tell you a billion different things, but it won't mean anything cause the only person who really knows whats best for you is well, YOU. If you feel like taking a year off to figure things out then do it. If you think you'd be better off just suffering through school and going off after that then do that. If you wanna stand on your hand and try to drink water everday instead of going to school...do that.

I mean I completely do not understand your entire education system. K-12 then college seems a lot easier to grasp to me, but hey I've never been there. And the dole thing sounds like welfare, which would drive me crazy being on. But again. You're the only person that can chose. This is your life, Kellie. And whatever choice you make about Uni I'm still going to think you're pretty much the shit!

Ktsunami wrote:

Eh! I'm 14. Stop acting like it's like completely unheard of for someone my age to know what they want to do. Age is just a number. Seriously. *twitch*

It's not. I'm not. It's just -uncommon-. You may change your mind four times before you go to college, but in America today, most people can't afford to do that because by the time they get to college, they've worked toward something else. Like I said, most people I know over 30 still don't know what they want to do with their life, and now it's too late. I was absolutely sure I wanted to be a doctor when I was 14 and now I'm absolutely sure I want to be a forensic scientist. Chances are I'll change my mind a few more times before trying to pick my major.

Yes. I. Am.

No offense but I've known that I wanted to do something in criminal justice/law since about third grade. And it drives me up a wall when people constantly go "yeah, you're gonna change your mind." Cause people do it about everything I say. Sure I've alternated between CSI, prosector and federal agent. I still plan on being two out of the three. I don't see why that's so hard for people to grasp.

Yeah, I get that you wanna be in criminal justice. What I'm saying is you -have- switched. Everyone has. I can't think of one person who has stuck with one -specific- job their entire lives unless they were practically born into it. And like I said, you -MAY- change your mind. Not that you -will-. I'm not the assholes who keep telling you you're definitely going to change your mind about getting married at having kids. I'm just saying knowing what you're going to do in life is hardly something that's set in stone for anyone.

And what I'm saying is that for -most people-, having to decide what you want to do before you enter high school is ridiculous. I KNOW you're fourteen, and I'm not saying that no fourteen-year-old knows what they want to do. And you act like you're nineteen, so I'm -definitely- not talking about you.

Fine, fine.

I just don't think you can understand the extent of how I feel about the FBI. I can't put it into words. I couldn't if I tried. The thought of that badge and shield honestly means the entire world to me, I'd die for them. I'd die to be Special Agent Harper. I'm perfectly willing to live for waking up and going to solves crimes and prevent terrorism and protect people in this country.