Favorite Quotes

No, you guys are just fucking with me now. Be honest now, is that what you guys really think about me? And if it's really because you're choosing a name, why in the world would you want it be Roberto?

No! No, Rob. I promise. I was thinking about naming my new sheep after you, but I shared the names of this pair of twins I used to go to school with with Kayleigh, and we decided on Asshole.

The twins' names were Shithead (shi-THEE-d) and Asshole (uh-SHOLE-ee). No fucking joke. XD

Really!? Uhm, in that case, thank you I guess, for having me as one of your nominees.

I'm gonna find a buff sheep and name it after you

Why thank you then, lol! But to be honest, Roberto is so unoriginal and plus, there's nothing special about that name, or me, actually. You should go for something like cute, or special, lol.

Me: Hey there!
Jill: Hello! ho're you?
Me: O_O.... Did you just call me a ho?! Well fine! I'm a ho! Ho're you?
Jill:NOOOO!!! i forgot the WWWW! So Sorry!
Me: HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Gee thanks My self-esteem dropped to the floor I'm a ho now.
Jill: No! no you're not!
Me: Well whore're you? I mean what?! Sorry. Dyslexic here
Jill: Uh huh. Sure
Me: Seriously!!!!
Jill: One typo does not excuse another!
Me: Typo?! This is a legitimate disorder of confusing letters. I HAVE MEDS!!!!!

Amy: 'that better be the "im going to tear the sexy finnish man apart" face....'

And

'Some of us dont have the luxury of falling apart' Off Corrie of all things

"If you don't have a voice... SCREAM."
- Cirque Du Soleil

Ale: Bring the furry handcuffs.
Me: Must they be furry?
Asher: Yes. Becauses no one likes chaffing. It's perfectly fine to step on a guys chest with a high heel and chain each other to things, but once there's chaffing, all bets are off.

Asher: Tattoo is an art, not the cover of a 12 year old girl's biology textbook.

Mom: Just be a woman and take the medicine.
Me: But it's doom in a spoon!
Mom: Then take then doom in a spoon PLEASE.

Ktsunami wrote:

Mom: Then take then doom in a spoon PLEASE.

LMAO!

Me Blood and guts and boobs and butts!

Andy Bean: Sounds like most nights for me.

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Kayleigh: "You're a fierce skunk!"

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Devyn: O_o are you doing the others?

Me: WHAT?!O_O

Devyn: HAHAHAHA, the other threads, I mean

R-ynne

Quote :

Guest wasn't naked when I put her in the box!!!! I put her clothes back on when I finished!!!!!!

Edit: Ok now it's even better

WHAT?!

*rolls out of bed laughing*

Just french toast it
I get it now haha

KellieBent wrote:

R-ynne

Quote :

Guest wasn't naked when I put her in the box!!!! I put her clothes back on when I finished!!!!!!

Edit: Ok now it's even better

Niiice!

KellieBent wrote:

R-ynne

Quote :

magnoly wasn't naked when I put her in the box!!!! I put her clothes back on when I finished!!!!!!

Edit: Ok now it's even better

What? Did I miss something?

^ I think I gave you a bit too much You got knocked unconcious


Devyn: What's up?
Me: Nothing, I can't even think straight
Devyn: *no comment*
Me: O_O. OH! I get it now! see!!! I can't even think GAY!!!!

FallenHalos wrote:

^ I think I gave you a bit too much You got knocked unconcious

Oh my That must have been something then Wish I remembered anything

^ Kellie can tell you what condition you arrived in

^

On the way to McDonalds on Thursday/Friday morning we found a McDonalds toy in the road. Steph assembled it and it was a bit broken. When the restraunt bit closes people can walk through the drive-thru so before we get to the window to pick up your food Steph goes:

'What do I say? Can you ask me why my toy doesn't work'
Me and Soph: ' You mean can you -tell- me why my toy doesn't work'
30 seconds later when we get to the window- Steph: 'Can you ask me why my toy doesn't work?'

The bloke asked her as well

^^ That's hilarious!

OMG. FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED AT HALL COUNCIL MEETING!

This is why you build up a reputation of being sarcastic!

So there is going to be a program where you get to pie your RA later this week so the RA I don't like (well I like her. I just like not liking her as well since (like this proves) it is hilarious) was asking for funding:

Her: I need to buy like whipped cream-

Someone else: Anything else?

Me: Bricks!

My friends: *die laughing*

I think I terrified the two RA's! Good thing I'm such a nice person

This thread makes me crack up

I has funny ones:

Me): I could be like "BUT ITS NOT A GIRL!!!"
Devyn IT?!?
Me And they might explode
Devyn DID YOU JUST CALL ME AN IT!?!?!? *hyperventilating*
Me My poor It. I love my little it!

Devyn(1:32:38 PM): *diesagain*
Me: I should post it on FB! But then my parents would be like WTF?



Devyn: YESSSSSSSS DO ITTTTT

Devyn post it on my wall


Me: ALMSOT WROTE "I LOVEE MY LITTLE TIT"

ROTFL

Smokey: "Break yo' self, fool!

Smokey: "Puff puff, give. Puff puff, give. You fuckin' up the rotation."

Smokey: "Remember it ,write it down, take a picture, I don't give a fuck."

Smokey: "I know you don't smoke weed, I know this; but I'm gonna get you high today, 'cause it's Friday; you ain't got no job... and you ain't got shit to do."

Smokey: "Weed is from the earth. God put this here for me and you. Take advantage man, take advantage."

Smokey: "You got knocked the fuck out, man! Gimme my goddamn money..."
[Searches Deebo, finds his money in Teebo's shirt pocket]
Smokey: "Payback's a motherfucker, ain't it, nigga!"

Pinky: [points a gun to Craig's head] "Don't move! Or I'll blow your goddamn head smooth off. Now back up. Slowly! Don't say a word."
Craig Jones: "But I was jus..."
Pinky: [cuts Craig off] "I said don't say a word!"
Pinky: [giggles] "Little muthafucka gonna try and rob me. Well I'ma show you how we do it here in Pinky's *noogah*."
Craig Jones: "I wasn't trying to..."
Pinky: [cuts Craig off] "Shut up! Before I bust a cap in yo' ass. Now what'chu been done wit' Day-Day and Roach?"
Craig Jones: "Day-Day is my peep..."
Pinky: [cuts Craig off] "Shut up!"
Pinky: "Now who sent you, nigga?"
Craig Jones: "Nobody sen..."
Pinky: [cuts Craig off] "Shut the fu... Did I say... Ohhh, nigga! I'll... oh, shit! Say something! Say something else, nigga! I'ma tie yo' monkey ass up."

Just because I couldn't put it on FB


Me:I think I'd be able to talk myself out of it... probably not with a straight face though *dies*

Devyn): *dies* yeah I'd like to see that

Me: XD

DevynI was just arguing with somebody about the best way to plastic wrap your boobs! ...riiigght

Me: *dies* I wish I could quote that XD